Saturday, July 6, 2024

Life Update - Divorce.

In my last post, I mentioned it's been 6 years since I last blogged and this particular life update is one of the reasons I buried my head in the sand.

The shame.  The pain. The weight.  A blog announcement?

The isolation. The loneliness.  The sadness.  A blog announcement?

I can't count how many times I sat behind the computer to draft this post and, before I could type anything, tears would blur my vision.  To clarify, I did not cry for the marriage I chose to end but rather, for the weight of failure I felt I had to carry.  

The {neat} freaks come out at night.

I couldn't sleep; thoughts deeply rooted in my anxiety kept me awake. To combat my insomnia, I incorporated a nightly cleaning of my little condo.  I used this time to focus and to pray.  I remember talking out loud to God.  I remember praying for peace within those walls.  I remember playing out scenarios in my head while I hand-scrubbed my floors.  Not only was my condo spotless and organized, but I would receive answers and peace before going to sleep. Sometimes, busying the body is the key to quieting the mind.

Distance made our hearts grow fonder.

Munch and I processed the loss of the 'life we thought we'd always have' nearly 1,000 miles from our family.  We navigated a new normal without our usual support system.  The distance between us and our family made us look inward and to one another; we formed a new unbreakable bond.  We became living proof that what was sent to destroy us made us stronger.  Sometimes, everything you need to heal is right at home.

Lessons learned.

I learned I am not what happened to me.  My divorce served as another reminder of how hard life can be; plans are never set in stone... like, ever.  No matter how crazy things seemed, only I choose who I am; I refuse to let what happened to me define me.  I am more than the storms I've survived.

I learned it's important to accept help. People helped me in ways I didn't even think to ask.  One friend paid for the moving company when Munch and I relocated.  I had friends fly in to help me move and to help make my tiny condo feel like home.  I'm so grateful God sent people into my life to reflect His love on us in more ways than I can count. Oh, and speaking of count...

I learned to count my wins.  Every day, and even in the smallest ways, I counted the things that went well in my life.  Showered? Win.  Combed my hair? Win.  Fell asleep without crying? Win.  Survived a holiday in my new normal? Win.  The act of counting my wins opened my eyes and my heart to practicing gratitude.  It reminded me that life is never all bad and that helped me feel better - like, almost normal (even if only for a moment).

I learned to invest in myself.  The residual rewards of pouring into myself - with time, with money, and with self-care - were felt long after the immediate moment or act. In that season, few things felt as good as making myself a priority.

Better because of it.

My divorce, as bone-crushing and earth-shattering as it was, made me better.

I'm a better Christian. I'm a better mom. I'm a better daughter, sister, and friend.  I'm a better Tabitha.

Islanders, isn't that the testimony we all want at the end of the hard stuff?  What's the point of it all if it doesn't make us any better?  

So, I think I'm finally ready to type the words.  For real.  Ok.  Here we go.

I'm divorced.  

... and I fought hard... and I probably won't talk about it much... and I grieved the loss of a piece of my [in-law] family who I loved dearly... and I don't know what I'm going to do with all the content on this e-diary from years when I was married... and I have experienced new beautiful love... and I am still learning to navigate life in this chapter... 

It wasn't in my plan, but I thank God it happened because things have shaped up to be better than I ever could've imagined.

Stay tuned,



Friday, July 5, 2024

Hey. Howdy. Hello. Hi.

Islanders, 

I can't believe it's been 6 years since we last spoke.  Would you believe I've spent the last year trying to recover access to my beloved island (blog).  I don't know what to say.

I'll start with hi.  I'm sorry.  I feel like I failed you and, in turn, I failed myself. I've needed you.  I've missed you.  I won't pretend things are the same but I'm willing to re-introduce myself (... and my life, as it is today) with the hopes that you'll still accept me.

To be transparent, I only see remnants of the 'me' you once knew.  So much has happened.  So much hard has hardened me.  Shoot, so much hard has softened me.  There's been so much growth. So much change.  

I have SO much to share.  As we prepare to send Munch off to college.  Yes, college.  I know! This awkward pre-teen you once knew:


... yes.  Her.  Well, she is all grown up and heading off to college in a few weeks.


No time for tears.  I was just popping in to let you know we are going to play catch-up on EVERYTHING - marriage, divorce, mom-ing, moving, moving again, and finally finding our GLOW.  I'm transitioning into a new season and I really want my beloved Islanders to be part of the journey. 

Who knows, maybe you've had some hard in your life too and maybe -JUST maybe - you could use a good catch-up with an old friend.

So, if you're still my e-bestie, grab a pillow (to cuddle and/or to cry into), grab a drink of your choice (and maybe even a snack). This could take a minute.

Talk soon,



Monday, October 29, 2018

Children's Cancer Research Gala

*taps mic*

Does this thing even work anymore?  Can you hear me in the back?

So, the last we spoke, I was sharing a random find.  If I told you how many things I found since then, you'd fall out.  I'll get to them... all of them.  I promise.  For now, I'd like to just catch you up on some of the summer happenings.  

Don't give me a hard time.  Yes, we're going to play catch-up!  The summer heat is fading, our days are shorter.  Our time under the sunshine decreases by the day.  What better time to relive some of the best moments?  Exactly.  Put on your bikinis and grab a fruity drink!

First up? The First Annual Gala for Children's Cancer Research.  


 



I got a trim and blowout.  


I got a pretty dress.

 

We linked up with friends for an Uber ride to the party.  No need to drive home?  It's going to be a fun night!



Open bar and 50 drink tickets for the four of us?!

 

 
We had a good time for a great cause!  The theme was masquerade ball and the dĆ©cor was so nice. 




 
Oh, and the food.  How could I forget the yummy food?








Oh, and let's consider this photo to be a before.  


Yep, there have been some major changes that we will talk about tomorrow!  This event was about more than getting dolled up and dancing the night away.  It was an opportunity to raise awareness and funds for a good cause!


Friday, June 15, 2018

Goodwill Finds: The Magnolia Wreath

Happy Friday, Islanders.

I wanted to share a thrifty find from a while back.  Ugh, I love my local Goodwill Outlet.  Oh, and yes, you saw correctly.  I typed Goodwill Outlet... as in, the thrift store has an outlet store with items going for crazy discount prices.  I know!  Mind boggling, right?  I pinky-promise to share deets soon but, for now, I want to share one of my outlet finds.

The magnolia wreath.  Some of you may recognize this update from my Instagram story:


While digging through a bin of household items, I saw the large blooms and fell in love.  Guess what.  Because it was in the outlet, the wreath was only 79 cents!  Sold!!

Once home, I dusted the wreath and used a damp cloth to wipe off leaves.  Then, I added a small sign (purchased on clearance from Michael's months ago) and some scrap ribbon I had on hand.



I hung it on the door and it looked amazing!


Life Update - Divorce.

In my last post, I mentioned it's been 6 years since I last blogged and this particular life update is one of the reasons I buried my he...

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