Friday, May 8, 2015

Event Planner Resentment - The Oxymoron

Thanks for the support as we work through this weird space together; it's one of the reasons I love having my sweet Islanders in my corner :)

Yesterday, we discussed one aspect of Event Planner Resentment (EPR).  Today, I want to hit on another side of EPR - the oxymoronic aspects of the disease.  Listen, I know I'm great at what I do.

In my support of friends and their events, I've inadvertently provided free hands-on event training.  It's awesome!  I've gone from providing the party-in-a-car and extensive pre-planning to attending events with no or minimal support required.  Don't take this the wrong way, I really believe all of this is AMAZING progress :)

Lately, there's also this weird feeling when I arrive as just-a-guest... a feeling of, "all they had to do was call me and I would've done THIS or THAT or --"  Look, I'm not saying I'm proud of it.  I'm not saying I'm a control freak.  I'm not saying I do this for every event or person BUT I admit to feeling a little annoyed when, as an event planner, I'm not... included?  Considered?  What word am I looking for?  Help me out here, Islanders.  I don't know how to put it.


Ok, well.  Brace yourself.  It gets weirder.

Lately, when I am asked to help, I get annoyed.

I know. I know. JUDGE me.  I don't even care anymore.  Lately, when I'm the designated planner for events, I struggle with being the point of contact and with running myself ragged.  I find myself asking, "when's the last time anyone did something like this for me? " or "would so-and-so even do this for me?"  or "why am I always the one who looks a mess."  I've coined it as feeling like the help.

Not that kind of help but, well.  Hear me out, okay?  I admit to feeling like I lose out on the privilege of being a guest because I 'work' the event.  My mind worries about logistics and, once I'm in that mode, it takes me longer to snap out of it.  I'm watching people, checking decor, tweaking small things.  I'm reminding myself of my father, the introverted chef who distracts himself from his guests during events by focusing on food prep and set-up.

I love to help.  I love to create. I love to craft.  I love to party.  I love my friends and family.

I can't let this EPR ruin milestones and celebrations for me; I've got a long HAPPY CELEBRATORY life to live, haha!

Admittance is the first step.  So, there. I said it.  I'm annoyed if you do. I'm annoyed if you don't.  OK?!  So, be mad.  I don't care.  You know what?! I'm probably mad too!  I know I SOUND CRAZY... BUT I ADMIT I SOUND CRAZY!

I've spoken to a number of people in the service industry who understand the resentment I feel.  Hair stylists, caterers, bakers, designers, decorators... I've had a number of folks reach out to remind me that I'm not alone; this is a real struggle for people whose talents are also their business.  I've come to terms with most of these issues already and I'm still working through others.  I'm actually going to put some of my 'fixes' into practice this evening as I attend an event for the MAJOR news I mentioned yesterday.

Are you itching with curiosity? You should be.  This is a game-changer.

More to come!


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